The Past

I miss something about the past. Why does the past have this appealing trait that makes one yearn for it? No matter how devastating the past might be, somehow, you want something from there. It could be a person, a relationship, a time frame, an item or even the feelings and emotions.

Perhaps nostalgia is the one at work.

Reminiscing about the past always leaves a little empty hole in me. "Where am I now?" I feel incomplete. Like I am lacking something essential to be living instead of just existing. There is something, but I can't put a word to it. It's the feeling where you go "I want to go back. I want to be back there"

Maybe. Just maybe. Humans remember happier things and forgo negative events. Hence, making the past much more attractive than it really was. Been there, done that. Because I have experienced that, I want to experience it again. I know I am going to pull through just fine. I know because it was.

Was. Was. Was. It sounds easy, forgotten yet precious. The probability of an event happening exactly the same way twice is zero. Nothing can be experienced twice identically. There will be-at the very least- a minute tweak.Hence was is precious and yet easily stored away for our convenience; for recollection in future.

The past seems carefree because of my young age. Life is indeed like a roller coaster. Past is when you have ended the ride, heaving sighs of relief and kissing the ground while the present is of course when you are on the ride, experiencing all the adrenaline rushing into your bloodstream. The future, a little tricky here, is like the anticipation when you are at the highest point. Will it be a pleasant ride or will you regret?

So. Instead of the regular timeline of past>present>future, we have end of ride>ride>start of ride. It doesn't even matter actually because eventually past=present=future.

Time is a tricky fellow. Morphing and taking different forms. Time is alive, not dead. Precisely the reason why it is so hard to grasp. You cannot control time, you simply move along with it. The only thing you can control is the past you bring along as you move with it.